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Hump Day Happy Hour 4: The Recap

better sex

Hump Day Happy Hour 4: The Recap

SUNNY RODGERS, ACSMarch 2, 2020

Our resident sexologist answers your questions about where to start with role play.

For a change of scenery, we held this week’s Pepper Hump Day Happy Hour at Pepper HQ in Las Vegas (more on our brick-and-mortar store opening soon). This added a layer of fun and tons of new products to share with you.

Sunny Rodgers, our resident sexologist, opened this week by answering one of our most popular questions: How do I bring role play into my relationship?

So, without further ado...

Where do I start with role playing?

  1. It’s easy to get stuck in your head. So first off, the two of you need to make an agreement around NO judgment. You’re trying something new, and it’s essential to settle into that sense of curiosity and fun together. Neither one of you needs to be an expert, just open minded.
  2. Name yourself. Names are a big part of identity, so creating a role-play name and persona is a great place to start. Share what your new persona likes that might be different from what you’ve done in the past..

Start with a simple introduction like, “Hi, I’m Lola, and I love nipple play.” Be sure that both of you create your new personas complete with likes and preferences. Maybe he wants to have his earlobes nibbled or a little bit of sexy talk.

Now, we’ve got some essential spots to discuss...

The g-spot

How do you find it? Insert one or two fingers (yours or your partner’s) into your vagina facing the front of your body. If you then bend your fingers in a “come hither” motion, you should hit the g-spot. It’s about the size of a walnut or a quarter and located about three inches inside the front of the vaginal canal. Spongy and fleshy, the g-spot is actually made of erectile-like tissue that can double in size when stimulated. Check out more on the g-spot here.

Dalia Marble by Desirables is a super-simple toy perfect for insertion to achieve that amazing g-spot orgasm.

The a-spot - AFE zone

The a-spot is short for the Anterior Fornix Erogenous Zone, also called the AFE or AFE zone. Often considered the second g-spot, the a-spot is located deep within the vaginal canal and can be harder to find. The A-spot is near the deepest point of the front vagina wall, all the way above the cervix where the wall begins to curve.

And yes, with stimulation, it can be aroused, and you can have an orgasm. Who knew?

The o-spot

The o-spot is also deep in the vagina, past the cervix, but it’s on the back vaginal wall, opposite the a-spot. If you have long fingers, you can stimulate that area with your hand. However, it’s easier to reach it with a penis or a sex toy. The o-spot doesn’t have as many nerves as the a-spot.

Moving on to those folks with penises…

The frenulum 

We can’t really call this the “f-spot,” because it’s not exactly a spot. The frenulum is the connective tissue on the underside of the penis between the head of the penis (the glans) and the foreskin. It’s an extremely sensitive area, sometimes referred to as the male equivalent of a clitoris.

The p-spot (aka, the prostate)

Massaging the prostate can lead to (or, at the very least, enhance) the male orgasm. Try tightening your PC muscle while your penis is erect for an even stronger p-spot sensation.

The prostate gland is essential for producing sperm. When starting prostate massage, use that “come hither” finger motion again to get used to the feeling and find what feels right.

We’ve got a lot more to say about the p-spot right here.

Let’s dive into the live questions and DMs:

“My wife and I have a 25th anniversary coming up in June, can you offer some fun ideas for spicing it up?”

Try something you’ve never tried before. Start by writing down three things you’ve never done but want to experiment with.

Here are some examples: I want to try this new toy. I want to have sex outside. I want to have sex in a tent.

“My wife’s libido is quite low. What can I do?”

There will be times when you’ll have a low libido or mismatched libidos, and this is entirely normal in a relationship.

A quick way to increase your libido: get an adrenaline rush. Try something like ziplining. Your heartbeat will increase and your libido might, too!

Take some time to masturbate every day. The more you arouse yourself, the more you’ll feel your libido rising.

Orgasms release oxytocin, which helps you relax. Stress is a significant factor when it comes to libido. You may feel like you want more sex play with your partner after a few self-induced orgasms

You can also talk to a doctor if you find that these tips aren’t helping.

For women, try a clitoral stimulator, too.

For men, try the Spiral 3D by Tenga or Egg Series.

“I want to try anal, but I’m afraid it might hurt.”

Your rectum and your anus have a lot of nerve endings. A little finger play or vibrations can stimulate a lot of sensation. Start with a small toy for a full feeling. 

The Xaga Root by Chakrubs is beautiful and intriguing, but is not a beginner toy! It has no stretch and is more prominent.

A great beginner toy is Ditto by We-Vibe.

Your rectum is not self-lubricating (like a vagina), so you’ll need a LOT of lubrication and keep reapplying. Great way to start: lay side by side and back up into your partner so you’re in control of the pace and how much happens at once.

Having a pleasurable experience has a lot to do with feeling in control. Remember to listen to your body and your partner’s body. Aftercare is a big part of the experience. Try a hot bath.

To summarize: Lots of lube, back it up, be in control.

“I’ve had parts of my cervix removed due to cancer, will that interfere with an a-spot orgasm?”

No. The a-spot is located just above the cervix, not on the cervix, so no, it will not.

“I’ve never tried vibration, but I’m interested in trying it out.”

Start slow and small. No wands, no rabbits—we don’t want you to have an overwhelming experience.

Start with a small clitoral vibrator and try buzzing your neck or the tip of your nose and then try your nipples and then move to your clitoris.

“If I were to buy a present for someone, what should it be?”

If you’re giving a gift and you want it to be a sexual one, start with a massage candle. Think about what “Lola” (wink wink) might want and start there.

“My husband and I often use a vibrator. What would help us take it up a notch?”

Bring in a new toy that has a deeper motor, one that creates a thumping sensation, so you can experience a full-body orgasm.

Sensation play can be a fun and exciting thing to explore. Try warming up or cooling down a Prism Original by Chakrubs. A cool feel can create a fun chilling effect, and warmth can be calming.

Feathers are another sensual addition to intimacy, give that light touch a try!

Again, we covered a lot of ground and appreciate all your questions and everything we are exploring together. Remember, sex play in your relationship is play—so have some fun together.

We have so much more to share with you so stay tuned on @peppertogether and be sure to sign up for our Hump Day Newsletter at peppertogether.com.

In the meantime, explore more so you can connect more.

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