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Getting to Know the Clitoris

better sex

Getting to Know the Clitoris

Kaisha-Dyan McMillanDecember 17, 2019

There's a lot more to the clitoris than meets the eye. Learn more about this key erogenous zone.

Do you know what’s really earth-shattering about orgasms? How diverse they are.

From how they’re achieved to what they feel like and everything in between, no two orgasms are the same. Yet being hyper-focused on achieving one, or comparing your experience to other couples can add pressure to your time together, when all that really matters is that you’re connecting.

When you’re in the midst of togetherness, fixating on the big finish means missing out on the joy of what’s happening in the moment. Instead of trying to achieve a specific outcome (like a mindblowing orgasm for example), focusing your energy on enjoying one another’s bodies can make being together between the sheets, the best part of the sesh.

The way we see it, an orgasm should be less about the destination and more about the journey. As far as journeys go, we think there’s no better place to start than taking a trip to the ultimate pleasure zone: the clitoris.

“For one thing, many of us aren’t clued into the fact that the clitoris and the penis are kindred spirits.”

The tip of the iceberg

The clitoris is the one body part that’s all about pleasure, and we think that’s pretty amazing. It isn’t directly involved with reproduction, however, which is a big reason why the clitoris is so deeply misunderstood.

“Anatomy posters are often designed to talk about reproduction, and since the clitoris has no role in human reproduction, why include it, right?” says Sex Expert and Educator Julia Feldman. “Often there's a little dot at the top of the vulva and people will be like, ‘That is the clitoris and it can make you feel good’, and sometimes they'll talk about 8,000 nerve endings and that's arbitrary and foreign and no one really understands what that is.”

The disconnect between common misconceptions about the female orgasm and what’s actually going on with the clitoris stems from how little we understand about women’s anatomy. For one thing, many of us aren’t clued into the fact that the clitoris and the penis are kindred spirits.

“What people don't really get is that the little dot that you see is actually just the very tip of this really complex network that is essentially the same anatomy as the penis,” Julia says. “If you were to really examine human development, at around 6 weeks of fetal development, [the] phallus either turns into a clitoris and is integrated into the body, or these components form into a penis.”

It’s important to note however that the clitoris isn’t just a small version of a penis—in fact, what we see of it externally is the tip of the iceberg. “The clitoris is massive and that is one of the major misunderstandings and miseducation campaigns that ever existed,” Julia explains.

This is because the clitoris has an internal structure that extends deep into the body, including behind the vaginal wall. “If you were to take a picture of a person's clitoris, like an x-ray of their clitoris and superimpose it onto the vulva, it would essentially cover the entire exterior of the vulva,” says Julia.

In other words, when it comes to the clitoris, there’s WAY more to love than most of us even realize.

“bring your finger or tongue to the party, take your time, don’t be afraid to build tension with a little teasing”

Showing the clitoris some love

So whether you’re talking vaginal orgasm, or trying to reach the otherworldly heights of a g-spot orgasm, Julia reminds us why the clitoris should always be a part of the conversation. “Very few women can orgasm specifically just from vaginal penetration alone,” she says.

That means bring your finger or tongue to the party, take your time, don’t be afraid to build tension with a little teasing, and when it comes to toys, Julia suggests going all in.

“Get a big vibrator,” she says. “If you have something that just touches on that little button, then you're missing out on the sensation for the rest of your actually awesome large clitoris.”

Clitoral stimulation can absolutely make sex more enjoyable, and a clitoral orgasm is the easiest to achieve of them all, which makes delving into this extraordinary part of your person’s body during playtime a win-win for everyone. 

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