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Why It's Time To Embrace The P-Spot

better sex

Why It's Time To Embrace The P-Spot

Kaisha-Dyan McMillanAugust 31, 2020

Men can reach orgasm multiple ways too.

As if the orgasm’s ability to actually blow our minds wasn’t enough, we love the fact that there are all kinds of ways to achieve one (or two...or three).

The thing is, with conversations swirling heavily around clitoral, vaginal, and g-spot orgasms, you’d think only women have varying climatic opportunities. Guess what, folks: men can reach orgasm multiple ways too.

But between the lack of understanding about how bodies work and the enduring stigmas around what’s considered heteronormative behavior, some men may find it difficult to open their minds, and therefore their own bodies, to fresh experiences.

For curious couples, redefining what’s even possible when it comes to pleasure can go a long way toward making connection between the sheets even more thrilling.

That’s why we think there’s no better time than the present to start exploring the p-spot.

“Let’s face it: men have long been considered the masters of penetration, so for them to be on the receiving end can ignite stigmas around gender and sexual orientation.”

What’s The P-Spot?

The “p” in  p-spot refers to the prostate, which is a gland situated below the bladder and around the urethra. The prostate secretes fluid that protects and nourishes the sperm during ejaculation, making it critical to reproduction.

Even though you can’t see the prostate externally, stimulating this walnut-sized gland just right can cause super intense, ultra-powerful orgasms, sometimes without the penis being touched at all. They don’t call it the male g-spot for nothing.

So what does it take to get there? Penetration through the rectum, and for some of us, a bit of mental reprogramming around what that means.

“A lot of men have hang-ups around anal stimulation,” says sex expert and educator, Julia Feldman. “Prostate orgasms are amazing, it's a whole other area of pleasure to explore, but the idea of exploring anal stimulation with a female partner can really be intimidating to men.”

Anecdotal evidence shows that prostate stimulation can help keep inflammation at bay and may even reduce the risk of prostate cancer. So it’s healthy and feels incredible.

P-Spot Playtime

For couples new to prostate play, communication is key. That means a critical first step is to create a safe, non-judgmental space where you and your person can ask questions, voice concerns, and set clear boundaries.

“So much of our experience with sexuality is psychological,” Julia explains. “In terms of our ability to relax and feel confident and feel focused, and our ability to believe that we deserve pleasure and should achieve pleasure...”

The next thing is to make sure the stage is set for p-spot playtime. If using fingers, trim those fingernails. To feel confidently clean, have a nice shower or bath. And definitely get a bottle of long-lasting, super slick lubricant ( silicone lube is perfect for anal play).

Ease your person into the experience by spending a good amount of time kissing,  giving a sensual massage, and anything else that excites them. Once they’re relaxed and turned on, generously lubricate (seriously, don’t be shy) one finger and insert it into the rectum very slowly. As with all of your favorite bedtime activities, never force anything. Increase sensation by gradually varying the pressure, strokes, and movements.

To build from there, finding the best  prostate toy for your needs could be a real game changer. Whether you’re looking for a simple butt plug or leveling up to a prostate vibrator, there’s no shortage of prostate toys on the market. 

Playing with the p-spot is yet another way for couples to build upon the foundation of physical connection that’s already there. Some men say it creates the best orgasms of their lives, and while we can’t guarantee that…isn’t it worth a try?

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