Our sexologist answers your questions about how to stay connected long distance.
On this week’s Wednesday Hump Day Happy Hour featuring the expert wisdom of Clinical Sexologist Sunny Rodgers, we covered questions from our DMs and live audience. The curiosity ran the gamut from all kinds of sex play and wellness questions (like how to make sex a workout) to at-home remedies to help aid ED (Erectile Dysfunction).
Check out the questions and answers below:
How to stay connected when both partners travel frequently for work? We answered this for couples with and without kids.
With kids: Intentional planning for time together is a must. Depending on the age of your kids and their level of independence, try scheduling a playdate or setting them up with an art-project and sneaking off into the shower together. Shower sex is a fun way to switch it up and also, there’s no clean-up after your sesh!
Also, quiet sex can be a fun challenge. Letting other parts of your body do the expressing on behalf of the pleasure you’re experiencing can make things exciting in a new way. And, there are all-kinds of whisper-quiet toys to make your quiet sex even spicier.
Without kids: Creative date planning is a fun way to build up anticipation for the next time you two get to be together. A simple suggestion is to try a new restaurant you’ve never been to before. Or, go on a hike or walk together and (weather permitting) have a little makeout sesh in the great outdoors. Consider it foreplay for when you get back to the privacy of your own home.
When you’re out of reach, you can still connect on the road. There are lots of great toys out there with apps so smart that you can tease and titillate your partner from afar.
We also love the pocket vibe. While it’s a wonderful clitoral stimulator, it’s also fun to use on other erogenous zones. Try buzzing the nape of the neck, earlobes, inside of the elbow, and inner thigh.
How do you initiate sexy talk in bed?
If you’re feeling shy, start by showing and not telling. Moaning, heavy breathing and other sounds of the like can be very expressive (and hot).
Then start explaining. Try phrases like: “that feels good,” “right there,” or “I like that.”
How do I get myself out of my head? It holds me back from trying new things.
Go with the moment. Getting out of our heads is a practice that hardly any of us have mastered. Remember you’re with your lover and how fun that is. Staying present blocks out all that external noise that doesn’t belong there between you two anyway.
Concentrate on breathing. Studies show that we often hold our breath during sex play which actually cuts off oxygen to our erogenous zones. Work on breathing deeply instead to make everything feel better and get the blood flowing to all the right places.
Music can help— check out our Pepper Couple’s Kit Playlist.
How many calories do you burn during sex?
A moan burns 5 calories an hour. Screaming burns 24 calories an hour. Playing with a vibrator burns 75 calories an hour. Super active sex play: (orgasms, making out, sex play): 500 cal per hour.
How do I deal with ED (Erectile Dysfunction)? Insider tip: Age, stress and hormone levels can all be factors.
Check with your doctor first.
Take a T-test - there are over the counter options.
“If you don’t use it, you lose it.” Using a really good lubricant (like Coconu) and “working it out” is a very helpful and natural remedy.
Having an erection and tightening your PC muscles (male Kegels) simultaneously (so clenching and letting go while erect) can help with ED and testosterone levels.
When you’re ready for a bigger challenge, take a wet washcloth and hang it over an erection, it’s like a resistance workout. And by all means, it can be a fun partner workout, too!
What natural remedies can boost Testosterone levels?
Seek out a naturopath or acupuncturist. There are also lots of herbal remedies.
What can I do about painful sex?
Talk to your doctor first, it could be Vulvadynia or another condition.
ALWAYS use lubricant.
Try OHnut! This is a great tool to use when deeper sex is very painful.
What is your current favorite sex tip?
Confidence. Own it. Try a new position, or a new toy.
What are your favorite toys?
Simpler = better. Clitoral toys that are small can be slipped between the two of you. Slide it right into your underwear. Tiny but mighty sensations can really increase the fun you have together.
We’re excited to see where the convo will take us next week... Tune in every Wednesday at 6 pm PST on our Instagram Live @peppertogether and ask us anything!