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How To Bring Up Sex Toys

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How To Bring Up Sex Toys

Kaisha-Dyan McMillanMarch 30, 2020

Get three foolproof, non-embarrassing ways to bring up of vibrators with your partner.

For couples looking to strengthen connection, maximizing the time you have alone together is key. One of the best ways to encourage togetherness is by bringing something new into the bedroom. Sex toys offer a range of playtime possibilities.

Simply put, sex toys for women (like  vibrators and penetrators) and sex toys for men (such as cock rings and anal plugs) are intimacy tools that can be used to bring an extra element of fun and exploration into the bedroom. Remember: they’re called toys for a reason!

Ready to bring up the subject with your partner? If you’re concerned they might feel threatened by a motorized addition, first take stock of your own perspective. Using a sex toy together is all about trying something new, experiencing pleasure in a more enhanced way, and simply making each other feel good. When you look at it that way, there’s really nothing to lose.

Three Ways to Bring Up Sex Toys With Your Partner

Most of us would prefer not to be surprised by our partner pulling a vibrator out of their hat, magician-style. That’s why introducing sex toys into your relationship ultimately comes down to communication. Here are a few ways to get the ball rolling with a good conversation:

1. Get in the mood

When you’re on a romantic evening out, having a steamy make-out session, or tangled between the sheets, there’s no better time to share fantasies. Use this time, and your heightened state, to breathlessly declare what you’d like your partner to do to you with a sex toy. For your partner, hearing about the idea while in the throes of passion is a powerful way to turn that very accessible fantasy into reality.

2. Keep it casual

Few things melt away tension quite like humor, and, for some couples, not taking the subject of sex toys too seriously can go a long way toward easing any awkwardness. Try mentioning it casually during a moment of quality time together. While you’re making a salad for dinner, say something unexpected like, “This cucumber reminds me of a dildo I read about.” That way it comes across as light and playful, while also becoming the sexy new elephant in the room.

3. Be curious together

For the one with the idea, express your curiosity about trying sex toys to loop in your partner. Talk about the experience you’d like to have together and invite your partner to do research with you. Shop websites and stores together, and be sure to compare notes on everything from must-have features to total deal-breakers.

When you’re ready to buy, the best sex toy is one that’s straightforward, easy to use, and able to rock both your worlds. If you are uncertain where to start, why not get things cooking with a classic  handheld vibrator that integrates seamlessly into foreplay and fits perfectly between two bodies during sex. Or, get things moving with a versatile, but not intimidating, massage wand. A couple's ring can elevate all sorts of positions, bringing you closer than ever.

Whatever your approach, as awkward as the idea of bringing it up may feel, doing so opens up the potential for you two to connect even more deeply. And hey, don’t we all like a little play?

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